As time progresses, bits and pieces of my experience in the hospital and very abstract memories are returning. I wish I could tell you that the story was complete, however it is not. Perhaps I should have waited to write about this until the memories were complete ... but I feel compelled to tell you now, even though it is only a partial story.

God is bigger than any of you can imagine, and I reject many people’s representation of God because their vision is way too restrictive, Self-serving, and wrong. Perhaps this is why I spent so many years as an agnostic and atheist.

Since I was blessed with Cancer, much about me has changed ... a lot of it for the better. That is a hard proposition for me to accept, but being that close to dying certainly opened my mind and made me aware of what truly is important about the gift of life.

When I was so sick and in intensive care drifting in an out of what we usually call "awareness", I became acutely cognizant of the spirit within me. I know that many of you would call what I experienced hallucination ... that (if that is what you choose to believe it was) perhaps is true, and is certainly OK with me. However, whatever it was, I feel it was divinely inspired as I felt what I consider to be the absolute truth of Gods relationship with humanity.

God wants to be a part of the WHOLE of mankind, not just a selected few. God created the messages of Mohammed, Buddha, and Jesus Christ to bring us all closer to Him, not to push us away from each other. Our spirit is one spirit ... all of humanity shares the same spirit. When I was so close to death, I experienced my soul ... it was larger than the room, rippling, shimmering, flowing, and bleeding out into the hall like water finding its source.

Though I was unable to get out of bed, there was no doubt in my mind that it reached beyond the walls of the hospital, and touched every living thing. If you are looking for a visual image, that is an impossible and illogical way of approaching the experience as it was a subliminal thing ... awareness of IT; mysterious and wonderful. It was warmth beyond warmth, and a bright light beyond brightness ... it was comfort beyond anything the greatest mother or father could give, and an understanding of absolutes and abstraction, but most of all it was reassurance and LOVE.

I have analyzed this experience over and over again for months, and tried to make rational sense of it all. When something like this happens, it is impossible to describe the experience in words adequately, for language fails. There are things for which there are no words, and only feelings generated from the deepest part of your being. On different occasions, I have tried to describe this to others. I have failed each time I have tried, and so, have just given up. It is enough for me to remember it as an extremely moving and profound sensation surpassing my ability to describe it.

From my boyhood, I have been taught that I was created in Gods image. I have come to the conclusion that maybe this misconception led me to attempt to create God in my image, or restrict Him to sustain only my view ... leading me to misinterpret what God truly is, and thus rendering me unable to see Him as He really exists. The concept "Mankind, not man, was created in Gods image" makes substantially more sense to me now that the limiting belief that I was created in His image has been dispelled by my consciousness. Viewing it this way, I conclude that perhaps if I stay in the place I am now in spiritually, at some point I may literally be able to experience the wonder that is the creation, and thus, experience first-hand the creator. Any other spiritual proposition now seems tremendously limiting to me.

You say God is in your life? Show it by living the message, not by insisting that your vision of God is portrayed on a granite monument for all to see, on the money you spend, or in a pledge recited by rote in a public school. Be tolerant of others; every sect, every class, every religion, every race, every miniscule cell, atom, and particle in creation has a purpose.

God’s creation is nothingness and everything existing at the same moment. It is the things we can't see, can't hear, and can't feel that will bring us closer to creation. Our experience is defined by our limitations, but Gods creation is limitless. If we don't or can't accept that there are other realities and endless possibilities, we will never be able to accept the divinity within us.

Nothing about our life is a mistake ... not a single thing! Coexisting with us even though we are totally oblivious to it, is a separate place, which we cannot see, hear, feel, or touch. But it exists nevertheless, and it is only the limitation that God has placed upon us as part of His process that prohibits us from experiencing it. Perhaps we are truly in the Garden of Eden, and it is everywhere, but the limitation of human knowledge, wisdom, and vision has made us blind to that fact.

BE THE LIGHT, don't just flip a switch to merely light a bulb! BE THE LIGHT!